I am probably one of the few women who did not read 50 Shades of Gray. And that is quite important because I am not one of those people who never read. I do read. However, seeing all women wet inside and outside, acting not only like they had never read an erotic book or seen an erotic movie, but also like they hadn’t been involved in an erotic action before the Shades of Gray, made me unwilling to read that book.
When the movie was released, everybody was frenetic. I imagine the Apocalypse ( the real one, not another end of the world movie) to be welcomed the same way people waited for 50 Shades of Gray. So, I decided that I could throw away three hours of my life to see what the hell was this about.
You don’t know me though I will be famous someday, but I never fall asleep when I watch movies. Even if I watch the worst comedy ever, and I feel like crying because I didn’t even smile the whole movie, I watched until the end. I am obsessive compulsive, it is not my fault. However, Gray’s Shades made me fall asleep. I am pretty sure I got to the third Shade, and that was it.
Well, there are so many things better than both this book and the movie and here are some of them:
1. Bitter Moon
This is an old erotic movie with tons of BDSM scenes, after one of Pascal Bruckner’s books. So, if you are into erotic stuff and BDSM ( and you probably are since you are interested in so many shades), instead of wasting your time watching 50 Shades of Gray, you could watch this movie. I could say the same about the book, Bitter Moon, which is an amazing book, once you get through the “too erotic” pages. Both are better options than “the shades”.
2. A bottle of wine
I know you were expecting another movie or book that will teach you erotic moves and show you erotic scenes. But why don’t you try to do something yourself? Well, being sexy is not that difficult, and you don’t have to watch Grey “doing the shades” since you can do everything. So grab your girlfriend and a bottle of good wine and unleash the “monster”.
3. Playing with toys
No, I am not trying to make you relive your childhood, and I am not advising you to buy a Lego game. Instead of buying the book or watch 50 Shades of Grey, why don’t you just go to a Sex Shop and buy some bloody sexy ( and probably funny, depending on who you’re dating) toys and have a fun night, without bringing Christian Grey into discussion ( the actor wasn’t even cute).
Oh well, these are definitely better options than spending money on the book or cinema tickets for 50 Shades of Grey.They will make better stories for sure…