Getting over a breakup is so difficult that it makes you wonder how all these people around you survived one, or two or even more. Actually, this question doesn’t come to your mind, especially if you are a millennial who thinks that nobody is suffering as much as you do. After the necessary virtual bitch-slap you just received ( Did you feel that?), it’s time to learn how to get over your breakups. Are you ready? Here’s what you have to do:
1. Wine a Bit, You’ll Feel Better
Drinking is fun, as long as you are not miserable while sipping the magic liquor. In this case, you might end up texting your ex who is actually moving on with another version of you. So, while a glass of wine never hurt anybody, a whole bottle might make you search for a list of things to do in order to get over getting over a breakup.
2. Or…Drown in Your Own Tears
Well, the opposite of getting drunk and exposing your misery through texting or even worse, calling, is drinking your own tears. Salty? Yes. Healthy? Probably not, but crying while yelling and punching your bed…or yourself might help!
3. It’s Time to…Get Even!
An eye for an eye might make the whole world blind, but seriously, who cannot think so deeply when feeling so much pain, can you? So how about destroying his car? Or maybe beating the hell out of her new boo?
I don’t know if any of these will help you get better but they might help you get a fine, a few days in jail and a nice restriction order that you can frame…after you get over the breakup, of course.
4. I Scream Ice Cream!
Sugar kills you but the pain from your breakup doesn’t actually allow you to live properly does it? So, feeling the sugar running through your veins might be exactly what you need. Bad for you? Definitely! Not as bad as alcohol and other drugs? Probably not!
5. Oh, Good Ol’ Junk Food!
Some people don’t need to be suffering to stick their head into a pile of burgers and chips do they? Well, we can’t throw rocks at them since we all know how amazing junk food make us feel…until we finish eating and we start to bloat like Jules Verne’s balloon. Does this help? For about ten minutes, especially if you are watching your favourite show while putting sugar and fake meat inside yourself.
6. You Need a Reality Check!
After you tried all these ways to get over your breakup and none worked, it’s time for you to face reality. So, you are all by yourself Bridget Jones and it’s time to embrace the feeling of loneliness and actually enjoy it. Yes, I know you loved your ex, but now you have more time for yourself. Ok, you don’t need your time, but your former partner doesn’t need it either. So, move on!
7. Hit the Gym, Jack!
Start by taking out that fat you gathered as a form of protection! I l know it’s hard but move your ass and start working out. Not only does sport make you look better but you will also feel great. Oh, and stop playing games with the sugary foods!
8. To Get Over, You Need a Make-Over!
Do not see a surgeon! Do you hear me? And no, your eyebrows are great, like that. Ok, maybe you should wash your face!
But what you really need is a change of attitude. Try finding what you like about yourself and emphasize that. Change your car, if you afford that! Buy new shoes if that’s what makes you feel better! Do whatever works for you!
9. Get Back Out There You Sexy Thing!
Whether you just go out with your friends, travel or even move to a new place, you have to do that with all your heart! No, don’t be cheesy about it, just don’t do it “in your ex’s face”! If this is what you do, man you’re not over your break up yet! And in this case, you have to start again. So, “wine a bit, you’ll feel better” !