“The history of the world is, sadly, not a pretty poem. It offers little variety, and it is nearly always the unpleasant things that are repeated, over and over again.” ( E.H. Gombrich )
It might seem weird to write about love starting with a quote from a book about history. However, when I was reading the book, and I got to this paragraph, people, their feelings and actions were the first things that came to my mind.
It’s not “history” that repeats itself, is it? People were always the ones responsible for all the unpleasant things they did to each other.
Sometimes I wonder how could a second World War start after seeing what had happened during the first one, or all the others that were before? The truth is that people tend to forget. And isn’t that what also happens when it comes to love?
Why Did We Fall in Love?
Being attracted to somebody is easy. Falling in love and caring about somebody is not something that happens overnight, and I believe that neither is falling out of love.
Seeing how people go from being so close to each other to not speaking, kissing or hugging and even not standing each other’s words sometimes makes me wonder if that’s going to happen to all of us one day.
I believe that people forget why they fell in love in the first place. It’s not the imperfection of the other person that makes people fall apart and look for something else. The imperfection was always there, wasn’t it? It’s just that we don’t look for the positive parts anymore.
Maybe we are too tired from work; maybe we began getting bored with people as fast as we get bored with our phones and cars. Or maybe love and relationships became overrated in a world where women compete with men instead of working together.
Whatever the reason is, the finality is the same: we forget why we fell in love with each other and step by step we fall out of love.
Everything Takes Time, Even Falling Out of Love
Just as getting to love somebody, stopping to love them takes time. We don’t just wake up one morning without having feelings for the person sleeping next to us.
Sometimes, people don’t notice when they grow apart being too busy with something else. We don’t see our loved one slipping away, until we grow apart so much that we don’t even have what to talk about.
Or we might notice that we grow apart but we “let the time decide”. This cliche never works as we expect it to. “Time decides” but usually not in our favor.
We blame each other and move on, looking for somebody else, or we just find somebody else before even breaking up. This is the easy way, or so we think. The difficult part actually begins when we start doing the same thing with the new partner.
History Doesn’t Repeat Itself, but Sometimes It Rhymes
Ending my story the way I started it might be different than how relationships end. The endings are not even close to what the beginnings had been because if they were, they wouldn’t be endings, would they?
It’s difficult for me to describe in words the sadness I feel when I see two people who used to be so madly in love with each other, acting like strangers.
Thinking that it will be different with “the next” is just being naive…It can be different if we do something about it. But unfortunately, people tend to forget…
This makes me think that the world is a tiny little strange place where people evolved from walking to riding horses, traveling by trains and now flying over the seas as well as communicating through the internet.
But, at the same time, so many completely forgot loyalty, affection, forgiveness, family and even how to love each other.